My first baby turns 10 today. I’ve been parenting for 10 whole years. Whoa! Whilst you might think I’d know a thing or two by now, I am still learning. Every. Single. Day. Learning more about myself, relationships, and the world, not just my kids or parenting.
So here’s to ten years of lessons learnt through love.
1. I AM ENOUGH.
Still learning this one. We always want the very best for our kids, and that can look like wanting it all and being it all and doing it all. But I AM ENOUGH.
2. You are the strategy.
In the trenches of parenting we can seek to ‘fix’ things and search for the right tool or program or strategy. You have it in you.
3. Self-reg starts with self.
My goal is to raise peaceful, playful and present kids. In doing that they need to be able to manage energy and tension - to self-regulate. They learn to self-regulate through co-regulation = how we as parents support them through the ups and downs. We model it. It ripples out. I need to be conscious of my own SELF-regulation.
4. You can’t pour from an empty cup.
On a similar note, you can’t manage you own energy and tension, or co-regulate your kids if you are running on empty. Fill you cup. Find the things that restore your energy and light you up. Cherish them and don’t let them go.
5. Food, water and sleep.
Besides loving relationships, this is often my go-to when the wheels start falling off. These are foundations for the rest of the day. Have they need fed and watered? Do you need an early night? Or a movie day on the couch?
6. Rhythm and routine.
The brain loves predictability. I love predictability. It helps the brain feel safe and secure. When we are out of sync or this are out of order, our whole household feels
7. Will it matter in 12 months/5 years/18 years?
When I was pregnant with this now 10-year-old, I sat on the floor of BigW in tears, ugly crying face, over whether to choose the microwave steriliser or the electric steriliser. Kid was breast fed for 22 months and never took a bottle in his life....
8. Lessons are in the struggles.
I believe the universe, higher power, whatever you believe in, sends us people/things/battles to teach us what we need at the time. It's all relative. My struggle isn't bigger than yours, nor yours bigger than mine. It’s rarely easy. It can suck. AND you are strong. You’ve got this.
9. It’s in the little moments.
I often get caught up in the rush of life, the never ending to-do lists and all the ‘noise’ and distractions. I'm not as present as I'd like to be. But it’s the little things that matter. The curious questions. The inside jokes. The ‘look’ he wears from his grandfather. I take pics on my phone of the small things to remind me who much I love these kids when I feel like it’s ground hog day or I’m hanging on by a thread, the negativity vibes and self-doubt kick in and I fall into the “I’m a shit mum” trap.
10. Tomorrow is a new day.
I’m still working on all of these things. If anything these are lessons and reminders for myself.
Got any to share? Anything you’ve learnt? Anything you need to tell yourself?
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