Does your home feel chaotic at times? Is there yelling? Screaming? Kids fighting and squabbling?
Maybe that's just my house (I'm sure it isn't!). Often we are juggling so many things, keeping so many balls in the air, running from one thing (or kid) to the next, working, cooking, cleaning, planning.... all the things. It can feel so overwhelming,that we don't know where to start.
We know we want a calmer, more peaceful house. We want to be connected to our kids. To have more patience. To enjoy our kids. But where to start?
There is one simple thing you can do when sh*t is hitting the fan in your house.
You can pause.
Breathe.
Take a moment.
Do what ever you need to do to gather yourself.
Take a toilet break (shut the for and stay an extra minute or two!).
Or phone a friend.
Or turn on the Disney Chanel or watch a funny clip with your kids.
Or boil the jug. Wait for it. Heck, even drink the tea before it goes cold.
Just stop.
Then, once you have gathered yourself, you can reconnect with your kids.
Do you have a space to do that? To sit and reconnect?
If it hasn't fit the fan yet, if things haven't escalated and you are feeling energised and wanting to be proactive, you can create a safe space for down-regulating, for winding down, or returning to a calmer state. Heck, make a few space, one for you and one for the kids.
Down-regulating is about returning to a place of calm once you have been in that elevated, or agitated state.
Imagine your body has an internal engine or speedometer. That is your arousal - how alert or fast you are 'running'. When we feel overwhelmed, rushed, busy, anxious, have kids fighting, yelling..... our arousal (engine speed) will be heightened or increased.
Maybe that's just my house (I'm sure it isn't!). Often we are juggling so many things, keeping so many balls in the air, running from one thing (or kid) to the next, working, cooking, cleaning, planning.... all the things. It can feel so overwhelming, that we don't know where to start.me connection like a hug from your kids or partner, a chat/vent with a friend or cuddles with a furry friend. If our stress level is too high, social connection might be too much and we can tip over into fight or flight, where we want to fight against something (or someone) or get away from it.
Maybe you see this in yourself.
Maybe you see it in you child.
To help down-regulate and return to calm, you can look for things that are soothing/calming for you or your child. We all have different things we find calming, although some might be the same.
For a simple, easy checklist of ideas for creating a space for down-regulating in your home, check out the FREE download on my resources page, here.
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