I have been a bit quiet in my business presence so far in 2020, and here's why. I have been living life. I am a mother. A wife. A human. I have been focusing on my family and my self. By the end of the year I was well and truly spent. I was in desperate need of a break.
We had a family holiday overseas -our first real big one with 14 hour flights, time-zones and jet lag, new faces and places, theme parks and cultures. Once we were home again, I gave myself permission to rest and restore form our big adventure. Resting and restoring my energy reserves is pretty tricky in the school holidays witch children to occupy and tend to, as well as work to be done in order to pay this bills. But taking the pressure off to jump straight back into business, helped reduce my stress in that area.
Living in the present moment
Overthinking and planning takes so much energy. It takes energy away from living in the present moment. Energy away from enjoying life here and now, as it is. As a perfectionist and an over-thinker, presence can be really tricky for me. Taking the pressure of January, helped me refocus my energy and enjoy the last of the summer holidays with my boys.
Loving my peeps
Spending time with family has had me reflecting on which areas I want to grow in my life in 2020. This year I am working on relationships - with myself, my husband and my kids. This 'should' come easy. But often it doesn't. Often the stuff - schedules, routines, tasks, work - takes over, if we let it. I am certainly guilty of the staff taking over. This year I am putting relationships at the top of my list.
Learning to put myself first
One of the key pillars of Self-Reg is to take it personally. Our own stress and energy levels significantly impact the people we love and care for.
"The well-being of children is inseparable form the well-being of the critical adults in their lives"
Dr Stuart Shanker.
I often use the saying 'You can't pour from an empty cup'. In 2020, I am following my own advice! I am exploring what drains my energy and how I can manage my energy. Like many mothers, wives, or those in caring professions, I prioritize the needs of others above my own. It can feel like you give and give and give. We want to give! But often that means at the end of the day, life has rushed past, and there is nothing left for yourself.
I am on a continual path of learning. Self-Reg is an iterative process - the more we go through the process and learn about out stress and energy, the more success we have in managing stresses and balancing our energy. When we fall off the band wagon, we get right back on again.
If you want to join the conversation about stress and self-regulation, come over and like my Facebook page to keep an eye on upcoming events. Next month I have a local talk for parents about understanding the 'why' behind challenging behavior, and also a virtual book club discussing Dr Stuart Shanker's book, 'Self-Reg: How to help your child (and you) break the stress cycle and successfully engage with life'.
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