If you've found me, I talk a lot about stress. Maybe you came looking for info on Occupational Therapy or behaviour or Self-regulation for your kid, only to discover that at the heart of it all is stress.
Over the years I have taken many approaches to my work, my parenting and my life. And I have landed on one main approach that sings to me. In 2019, I completed training to become a Shanker Self-Reg™ Facilitator.
Shanker Self-Reg is a process of understanding stress and managing tension. It is not a set-program or curriculum, rather focuses on understanding the science of stress and its impact on body, brain, relationships and development. Self-regulation is the foundation from which all other areas of development can grow. It is part of all our routines, activities and aspects of daily life. It is part of us.
At the heart of self-regulation is stress.
Stress is anything that requires our body or brain to burn energy to get back to a state of balance. We often think of stress as ALL THE THINGS we need to do - bills, run a household, work, kids screaming and yelling. It is those things and so much more.
Stress can be loosely broke down into five areas or domains.
Biological Stress- things that impact the body such as heat/cold, food, illness and allergies and sensory sensitivities require us to burn energy to process them
Emotion Stress- big feelings, both 'positive' like excitement and anticipation, and 'negative' like fear, anxiety, anger can burn huge amounts of energy to get back to balance
Cognitive Stress- all the information we have to process, take in and remember drains a lot of energy. Multitasking anyone?
Social Stress- some social things will burn energy, more for some than others. Some of us might be introverts and are drained by social events, whilst others might burn energy trying to please others or fit in.
Prosocial Stress- is the energy required to care for or worry about others. If you are a sensitive or empathetic mumma, you will not this one all too well.
These stressors build and build, multiplying and adding to our overall stress load. They impact our arousal (or state of alertness, read more about it here), our coping skills and our behaviour. You can find a list of stressors that might be impacting you here.
The same goes for our kids.
Behaviour is communication.
Often when our kids are behaving in less than ideal ways, it is because this stress load is too high. Their behaviour is communicating, "I can't cope", "This is too much.". What is too much? Stress.
But what do kids have to be stressed about? Remember this isn't about their "to-do list" or school/study stress. The Self-regulation view of stress is about the energy our body and brains burn to get back to balance and covers the five domains described above.
If you are wondering what stressors might be contributing to your child's difficulties with self-regulation or behaviour, check out my free download, "Stressors for Children". The stressor For Children is a simple checklist that covers a whole bunch od stressors across the five domains. Take the checklist and a pen and tick all the things that might be contributing to your child's behaviour. You might just surprise yourself about how many here are!
Get the free download here.
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